To my first born, I am so very sorry for changing your world as you knew it. We never even asked you if this was something you wanted. We got you a book about being a big brother and several T-shirts advertising your new role in the family. There was no way of really preparing you for what was going to happen.
It was always you and me. You didn’t have to share your family with anyone. All the toys in the house were yours. All the storybooks were yours. Everything revolved around you. It had been like this your entire life. You didn’t know anything else. Suddenly everything changed. You became a sibling.
Everything Changed
One day mommy and daddy just left. We explained we were going to the hospital to get your baby sister, but all you really understood was that we weren’t there for bedtime stories and prayers. And then we came home with the second baby. She was so tiny and fragile. This was the little sister we had promised you.
The next week was very different. You didn’t see much of Momma, and I’m sorry. You probably started to wonder if we gave you to your Nana. And as time went by, things didn’t return to normal as you knew it. Whenever you tried to get my attention, you were always met with “I need to take care of sister” or “I need to feed the baby” or “I’m sorry, Momma is too tired.”
You want to be involved and you want to play too, but you hear, “No, you’re being too rough” or “Leave her toys alone” or “Let her play with your toy; she won’t hurt it.” You don’t understand why everything has changed. At times I’m sure you don’t feel like big brother, but an outsider looking in.
New Normal
I’m sorry, Little Man. The truth is your world isn’t the only one that has been completely changed. A second baby is all new for Momma, too. Please be patient with me while I’m trying to figure out our new normal, and I’ll try to be patient with you as you get use to this new family dynamic of being a sibling.
I will try to keep in mind that whenever you’re expressing jealousy, you’re just telling me that you need me too. There will always be special time for you too. I will try to keep in mind that just because she is smaller doesn’t mean she needs me more and that you need me less. Know that just because I love her doesn’t mean I’ve fallen out of love for you. No one could ever replace you.
I Am So Proud Of You
I don’t say this enough, but you are an amazing big brother and such a big help to me and your Daddy. It warms my heart to see how she lights up whenever she sees you. You are always making her laugh and smile. She loves you so much, and it is such a joy to watch you express how you love her.
Once again, I am very sorry that we changed your family and your life like this. But we are so proud of the person you are becoming. Just remember that no matter what happens, you are still my sidekick and your Daddy’s little buddy, but now you’re Ember’s amazing big brother.
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