Every time without fail, just hours before we leave for a birthday party, I feel like bailing and just not showing up. I can think of a hundred reasons not to go; There’s so much laundry to do, I still have errands to run, This is my first day off in a week, I’m too tired, etc. But here’s why you should think twice about just not going.
Going, Maybe, And No Show
I know I’m one of those people that gets excited about the event when I get the invite, but not so stoked when I need to start getting myself and my kids ready for it. If there’s a good chance you’re gonna bail, never say yes. Own that about yourself. A maybe reply is better than a no show. Trust me when I say they will notice that you didn’t come.
Empty Parties
Have you ever been to a kid’s birthday party where very few people showed up? Or have you ever hosted a birthday party for your kid where several guest were no shows? How did that make you feel as a parent? We as parents can’t help but take it personally. The birthday kid might not notice, but the parent will. When you feel like not going, just think about how all the other parents are feeling too. You may be the 23rd guests to show up or you may be the only guests.
My family recently went to a party, where I had to drag my husband. To say he was oozing resentment would be a bit of an understatement, but as we were leaving, he admitted that he was glad we went, because he could see the dissatisfaction of the turnout.
Also keep this in mind when it’s a party that requires a headcount. That parent paid for your child’s spot. How would you feel?
Get Your Kids Out Of The House
If you’ve already mentioned the party to your kid, YOU ARE GOING! If you already got them all excited and you don’t end up going, good luck for the rest of the day. This is a fun opportunity for your child to develop social skills and foster friendships. This is where they learn to celebrate others and that not every celebration centers around them. A good day of fun exhaustion also leads to a good night sleep.
It’s Not About You
I can not express this enough. We all know it’s awkward going to a kid’s party where the only connection you might have is that your kid knows the birthday kid. I get this. I have never been a really outgoing person. I’m pretty sure my shyness might even cross over into social anxiety, but I have to face this every time we get a party invitation. I once had a weekend where we had a birthday party on Saturday and Sunday, my husband could not come with me, and the only people I knew were the mom’s who invited us. Yes, I had to make small talk with the extended family, try to find common ground with complete strangers about us both being parents, and try to fill awkward silences. This is not something that comes naturally to me.
I can already see that my kids are naturally shy, so I’m trying to mold for them that social interactions don’t have to be scary. I am also happy to say that when I push passed my social anxieties, I make better connections with other parents. I actually scheduled a few play dates from going to birthday parties.
So the next time you feel like bailing on the birthday party, keep in mind what a beneficial experience it could be for everyone involved.
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